Fish n Co., Chix & Ribs, Flat Bread anyone?

This is a day that I must never forget.

I had no idea what exactly was going through my head, but everything simply seemed wrong. It's only after the outburst, and having seen hurt and confusion written all over his innocent face, THEN, I became more aware of the cognitive process going on in my head.

For the first time in a good-happy 4 months, I threw my temper at someone who means the world to me. For no apparent rhyme or reason really...

We met up for lunch after my usual share of sunday chores @ home. Suntec... what do we have here... food court? Sizzler? Kenny Roger's? Fish n Co. ? Tony Roma's? Alritey, let's go for Fish n Co. today. N we headed for that...

Outside Fish N Co., "Shall we have baby back ribs instead?"

"Oh, okay." So we headed for Tony Roma's.

Probably sensing my restlessness, he tried to please me by giving in to what I want. For instance, "you wanted chicken, besides the ribs, let's have chicken too.", it just seems to irritate me more. "I don't mind not having it, dear."

After the order was placed, I suggested, "Y don't we have this and that instead?".

With the patient little lady taking orders waiting for us, we went through another rouund of indecisiveness. N finally placed the orders.

Something got into me, "This is not the first time when we make the waitress wait while we decide, I don't like it when this happens. I prefer that we decide on our food before getting the waitress to come. I don't like to make them wait.".

"I know how irritating that feels to be made to wait too, I work @ my parents' you know. Maybe I should improve on that, but I have already decided on something when you decided to change the orders...(hurt in those innocent eyes)"

(Oh right. Oops.) Came the bread, he naturally took the initiative to cut the small loaf. (He's squashing the bread flat with the way he's cutting it. Argh... I hate to eat flat bread.)

"Hey-hey! I'll do it." I reached out to take over. (what-is-going-on look)

"I don't like to eat flat bread."

As the food came, both of us ate our food. I didn't feel good seeing the hurt look on his face, I tried to keep track with what was going on in my mind, and attempted to comprehend why I was behaving that way. I searched hard for answers, and found none. I just felt vexed and was just being difficult. Memories of the past relationship came floating back into my head. I shouldn't have snapped at him...Argh !!! What on earth was I thinking?!?

I apologised and explained myself out (I'm probably stressed, hungry & grouchy, didn't mean to throw temper at him. I feel really awful about making him go through this.). This little starfish of mine was alrite, he recognised that we are only human to have tempers. He commented that he had never seen me like this and he thinks he shouldn't spoil me by trying to please me.

I couldn't agree with him more, Chippy n pig pig always know it when I'm being difficult, grouchy n snapish. What do they do? Just leave me alone. "Dearie, next time, just leave me alone, n I'll be alrite. Don't try to please, I'll only be more difficult.". This closes a chapter in our relationship. The next chapter begins...I must not forget this, b'cos, if I hurt him this way again, I will feel even worse when I see his hurt and confused face (guilt & self-blame n all...).