A tribute to the rock : )

Attachment days, overlapping with the competition period, is no joke at all.

Competition meant weekends burnt & weekdays zapped of energy from both land & sea training.

Having attachment meant I needed time to read, to think, to reflect and to plan ahead.

When demands on either/both commitments were not satisfied, I really struggled to keep going with my head held high.

During these times, I couldn't have been more grateful for the piece of rock by my side, that had been there silently all the while, for me to lean on to take a rest, for me to grab hold of to help myself up again.

There were days when I left the hospital late, still had to drag myself back to school to get materials, and to attend trainings. Those dreary days were made a lot less dreary by a piece of rock. A ever-stable presence by my side.

A piece of rock that turned up at the hospital to pick me up after midway eval with a bouquet of sunflowers in his boot.

A rock that was there at my race events, to support me, to cheer me on. The rock that rolled over to the finish point in the very first instant to meet me the moment I stepped onshore.

A unique piece of rock it is, with qualities & ability to comfort & console when I having disagreement with chippy. Chippy's a great source of support to me, when I had friction with her, it was hell for me.

A tribute to my rock. :-)

A new chapter awaits...

Another 2 weeks flew by just like that, this marks the end of clinical education 2B. It been a most fruitful and enjoyable clinical experience.

With the constructive feedback that I got from mid-way, I had loads to work on, and I knew exactly the areas to work on too. Somewhere through the next two weeks, my moral dipped, as some faulty train of thoughts were identified, some alarm and concerns were raised, within myself, as well as my sup with me. Fortunately, it was clarified quickly between us without raising any alarm involvement staff members in school. I guess, sometimes, I talk faster than I think, this isn't exactly good for future clinical practice. It is important to think before I talk, if thinking isn't enough, make it, think LOADS. In the situation I mentioned above, it was a case of blurting out something too quickly. After some time to think, re-phase myself, as well as given an opportunity to redeem myself by my sup, I didn't get into hot soup. Learning point, THINK BEFORE I TALK. Looking back, what I said was really quite UNTHINKABLE. I was quite horrified by the implications of my own statement. Well, this is a heart-stopping learning experience that I must never forget.

Moving on, final eval came and went quickly and with marked improvements. With the mainly 4's, 5's & some 6's. She was quite right, getting a mid-way full of 3's and 4's made been quite determined not to see these numbers repeat in final eval. I think sup & I had quite a bit of mutual understanding, that came across quite clear in front of Hua Beng too. When she went out to settle some unfinished business, he started asking me about my clinical experience at the placement. So, I gave him my perspective of things. When she came back, she gave her side of my placement, and it sounded like my perspective 2X. Haha.. Amazing how 4 incomplete weeks of attachment can bond people..

Following eval day was our last day at placement, Dot & I went out shopping to get out respective sups a gift. I bent on getting this remarkable clinical educator and mentor something I am sure she would like. To show my support for her gym-going campaign, I got her a sporty tee and a wrist band. Despite getting really lazy at making cards, with some prompting some from chippy, I got to work. And as usual, satisfied with the product, I headed off to bed, at 2 plus AM for the 4th time in the week. Lunch was on our sups, together with other therapists in the dept, BREEKS @ AMK central. As much as I appreciate the outing together with the other therapists, I was not really at ease with everybody. The day went by, I had began to feel that I was gradually de-roled from the therapist role by my sup, as I was translating from an active role to a more passive one. Came 5.30 PM, I had my last de-brief with my sup. I passed her my gifts for her, and gave her a big hug. I have grown to be very used to her and of course, like her a lot. But this is goodbye for CE 2B, a chapter in my clinical education/practice unfolds...

The begining..

Mid-way eval was conducted on thursday, I remembered getting quite anxious and not being able to stand or sit while Hua Beng was with Dot. Some of the things that I foresee that Hua Beng would do, i.e., patient-napping, questioning your plan, ... didn't happen. Hmm..

Rather, he was rather focused, bent on doing one thing, which was to enhance my learning, he offered some suggestions to see if patient's performance in activity would improve under his recommendtion. Though at that moment, I didn't think it made a difference, I understood his logic/rationale on doing it later on. And hua Beng, being Hua Beng, would ask for immediate feedback, like, "How? Any better?". Hehe.. I don't really see, so I just kept quiet and pretend to be concentrating really hard on loooking at my patient.

Anyway, my clinical experience has been further enhanced by yet another nurturing mentor. The conclusion being, I need my theory, substance behind my treatment. If not, my treatment sessions would just another session of diversional therapy for my patients. Yeppy, yep.. I need to work on it yar.. Hua Beng also reinforced that my sup I was right in identifying that she's a great sup. She's known to be a meticulous clinical educator.

Eval ended with lotsa constructive feedback that I could work on and also a CE eval full of mainly 3s and some 4s. Don't really think it's good, oh well, like sup said, if she doesn't want me to leave thinking I'm good that there isn't much to worked on already. According to her, students usually have greater improvement towards final eval. Justified !

After eval, = ) came to pick me up after seeing that it started to drizzle. Upon reaching home downstairs, he said something was wrong with the tyres. He asked me to stay in the car and walked to the back to check things out. I stayed in the car lor, for a while. hehe.. I didn't see why I had to be in the car when the tyres was wrong & thinking that maybe I can help. I walked to the back saw him taking out a bouquet of sunflowers from the boot !! I was :-o , speechless. It was already comforting to see = ) after a nerve-wrecking eval day, I had a bouquet of sunflowers to add to the joy ! This is the begining...

Love me sup more.. =)

This fantastic lady, she gave me feedback on my performance on wed, really appreciate that man..

To tell the truth, memories of the last placement still haunts me. The scene of me breaking down in front of my previous sup with feelings of incompetency and helplessness still lingers. I hadn't really figured out why the last placement had been kinda traumatising for me till I met this lady..

Before the start of the rehab routine on wednesday, she spent a couple of minutes briefing me, she basically told me that she believed in giving consistent evaluation and feedback so that I would have time to change and adapt. She gave me constructive feedback of what she told can be changed, etc. And, "chink!" the answer was there, in her feedback.

The feedback that I got from my last sup probably came way too late (the day before my presentation ?!? two days b4 end of my 4-mth placement), not only was I super overwhelmed by the new information she gave me, I was horrified at the job that I did out of the presentation (unclear expectations).

Of course I not saying that I'm the angel here, I should've been more proactive, and take charge of my own learning when sup's not giving me enough of her time & I'm really lost (i.e., stop her, and discuss my issues of concerns with her). Tricky isn't it? To strike a balance between getting enough of her time and demanding too much of her time. That's something to learn from that experience. In a way, I feel that there's a passivity element in my personality, well, as far as academic learning is concerned. That passivity has to go.. In simple terms, I'm a slacker (??).

And my sup, she's not all perfect either. The thing that I do not quite appreciate about her patient-care is, she discusses about the patient with other healthcare professionals (or me) in front of the patient. I thought I probably wouldn't feel good if I were in that situation (seated on the plint, with healthcare workers discussing about me while looking at me. --> I'd probably feel disrespected, and think to myself, "I know I'm abnormal, please don't rub it in.". Well, come to think about it, it's not a matter of my sup, it is actually the vibe/culture of the centre. All the healthcare professionals that I have direct contact with so far, does this. I think it could be due to the close working relationship of the various professionals (physiotherapist, occupational therapists, speech therapists, therapy assistants, etc) in patient-care at the rehab centre. Their working relationshop probably promotes certain openness in communication that patient matters gets discussed openly-->transparency (?).

I didn't think that the CE discussion on Wed was particularly very useful in addressing people's concerns, I get the feeling that the lacturers are just "testing waters" see if we getting along well in the respective centres or not. Perhaps dorothy is more right (in a political sense too) about it as being a "good way of gaining social support". Btw dot, thanks for this morning, I appreciated hearing what you had to say about my dissatifaction with myself. Chanx (that's one the farnie words I share with my sistas--> it's supposed to be thanks k) !!

~Love me sup~ =)

It's 2 days into my 4-mth placement now, so far so good. Sup's nurturing, and clearly, a lady who's very dutiful in fulfilling her responsibility as my clinical educator. She clearly wants me to utilise the facilities and the environment to the max. to facilitate my learning. I'm in love with her style as well, she promotes openness in our communiction, and made me feel very welcomed since we started off.

After knowing that I did not get to splint at all during my hands placement, she wanted me to inlcude making a splint in my learning contract. I couldn't be any HAPPIER !! I actually quite enjoy making splints, if not for the performance stress. Being a "crafty" (arts & craft) person, the process of splinting from its cutting, to its shaping, moulding.. I love it !!

Of course, with nurturance, comes its demands and expectations as well.

Yep, gotta go think about the leraning contract for now !